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Is This Thing On?

Why, hello.
I am Rachel.

This is the start. I wanted to make it bright and happy just like a lot of people make me out to be. They are partly right. I have a many facets to myself and I hope to unveil some of them to you. Parts of me to you, stranger. I have not blogged in a long time and it feels nice to just write.

When I was small, I wanted to be a writer because books meant and still mean a lot to me. I get joy from reading.

Being an adult is something else. It is a constant tug and pull of responsibilities. Your dreams versus what bills are due. It’s a fight but in the end, with God’s help, may some sun will poke through your cloud of self doubt.

🙂

Just maybe.

With the support of Lee, I am starting a YouTube channel, too!
Don’t get too excited, nothing is there yet! But yes, I will be doing that. Which is something I have wanted to do for a long time.

This is my start. I aspire to do something I want this year. No resolutions, just a want to.

Instead of explanations, I’m going to let it be a surprise. I explain way too much.

Sidenote: I have been watching this girl’s channel. Sueddu. She is quietly amazing.
Click here.

See you soon.


You Don’t Always Have To Say Yes.

Hey there,

I am off this Monday and I could not be happier. I def need the break from the mundane. How do adults do this? Day in and day out. Things are steady for me. I can’t believe it is already the middle of February. WOW! Slow down, time.

I am currently editing my first lookbook and it’s exciting! I also made a huge adult decision and got:

INTERNET AT MY HOUSEEEE!!!!

I haven’t had it in almost two years! It is so much better than the cafe. Hands down.

Last time I uploaded a video, I was struggling. I did not have enough time to upload it at the cafe, and it was really hard. I was done.

So here I am! It’s so nice to be home and not out all the time. I am an ambivert (introvert/extrovert mixed) , and I need to be under my covers sometimes.

I need it.

Really happy I am home. I checked out Crouching Tiger from the library. Tbh, I have never watched that movie and I want to. Let’s get it.

So, Saturday morning I go into work early. Like…before Jesus wakes up.

While opening, a cop questioned me. He asked me all of the above:

what is going on?
why are you here?
do you work here?
how long?
what position?
can I see your license?

He walked off, but I felt some kind of way. If I was any other race, this would not have happened. This isn’t the first time that I’ve been questioned like this and sadly, it won’t be the last.


We have such a long ways to go for equality for different people.

Even though the whole conversation we had was RIDICULOUS, I had to keep quiet. I didn’t feel like I could speak up because he would book me or pull a gun on me.

This cop would feel threatened by me. An unarmed bank worker.

It is unreal the social climate we live in. Totally unreal.

Come Lord Jesus.

I have to keep moving and ignore the idiots. If I spend too much time being in my feelings, nothing will be done. Justice won’t be served and people will be stepped on. I don’t want that for anybody.

I want to see change and be the change. I want love and respect people who are not like me. Listen to their hearts and let them listen to mine.

I don’t have all the answers but I know this. It starts with me and it starts with you.

I will see you soon.

My First Look Book

PS: My manager told me I was driving while black and it was really funny.



And It Goes On And On.

I feel like weeks fly past me.

Hey guys, it’s me.

I am currently uploading a new vlog about my goals or this year. I don’t like resolutions because I don’t keep them. Goals are better.

Time is not on my side, I was sick this week and I could not keep up. I couldn’t get anything done and that is the worst feeling.

Last week was hard but I made it through with God’s help.
Only with His help.

So my co-worker is dating a girl and he was venting his frustrations to us. I gave my two cents.
Only two cents, because let’s be honest with ourselves no likes a Harping Hailey.


I told him that if a girl is hot and cold with you she doesn’t need you in her life.

I am done with passiveness. I am currently single, but I know what I want now. My generation is so passive and it makes me angry. It’s okay to say no to someone.

Ghosting someone who likes you a lot because you don’t feel the same. A-n-n-o-y-i-n-g.

Get over yourselves, gen y.

I can’t be like that. I used to be a wet blanket. I would let my friends cry their tears on my shoulders and let them not take my advice. They would not take the advice after the cry sesh and would repeat the same mistakes.

Why??

No more wet blanket Rachel. I’ve changed and transformed into a human who actually behaves like a human.

Happy and messy.
Frustrated and cautious.

I have a ways to go, but I am not who I was. I rejoice because it feels so good. So good to be in this mindset.

I am striking out on graphic novels and it’s bothering meeee.

Going to keep trying.

I hope you have a good rest of the week.

I will see you soon.

THIRD VLOG!!



Ballin’ On A Budget

Instead of talking about how crummy my day was I want to talk about cooler stuff.

1. I ate kimchi jjigae the other night and it was good. It wasn’t as good as the first time I had it but the restaurant where that happened is now closed. 😔

So this is the next best thing!

2. I finished my taxes and I am very stoked about that. I always do them but it feels nice to be done and not pay the government back. I work hard for that tax break, player.

3. My title. So, I want to mention how you can look fancy and almost do it for free. That was lame but I had to do it. So, my sister and I always find really good clothing at the thrift stores. What makes it even more blessed is when it’s half off on holidays. We try to beat the crowds and go early. Just is and the Latinas. Finding gems.

Also!

I tend to go to Old Navy and Target. I scout the clearance racks like no tomorrow. I don’t play around. In Old Navy they always have some kind of sale every time I go. Take advantage of that.

As for Target, don’t worry. That shirt you wanted will be on sale in two weeks for 30 percent off or more. Believe me, they will not sell out.

(If they do sell out of that item it wasn’t meant to be. Next. )

More than likely it will go on sale and you can get for a fraction of the price it was. Which is definitely a blessing, okay?

Now, if you are thinking thrift store clothes are gross then you are right.

Wash and disinfect! Water and soap are on your side.

Once that is done you are good to go. Some of the pieces I’ve bought have had the original tags on them. Gently used or new. Another woman’s trash!

Another place you can bargain hunt are department stores. I wasn’t about them a year ago but my sister changed my mind. She would find treasures forever more in there. I’m over here like:

Plus size girls and women! I’m talking to you. Guys, the clearance at JC Penney’s will make you shed a small tear. No more Wal-Mart butterfly shirts and Tweety v-necks. We are moving up.

4. I am having a great time on HelloTalk.

5. I ate white chocolate reeses cups and they are heaven. I bought a bag. An actual bag of mini cups. No regret whatsoever.

6. I am trying to see what sort of schedule I can come up with for blog entries and YouTube. I want to start that so I can be more organized. This week is a test run on what I can actually do. Surprisingly, I am pretty occupied during the week.

7. Thank you for watching my silly face on YouTube. I want to do better and bring more content that I’m proud of. Last week’s vlog I redid because I wasn’t into it. I uploaded one once I was satisfied with it. My channel will not be filler, but videos I want uploaded. I do what I want.

I will see you soon.

When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Hey there.
Rachel in this piece.

How was your week? Mine was…a rollercoaster of emotions and driving. I had an interview and a job I turned down. I was looking forward to it, but it wasn’t the one.

I wanted it to be. So badly.

When I was a kid, I had a picturesque way of thinking. My plans were your plans and if that wasn’t the case, I was not happy.

The world doesn’t work like that. Actually it is the opposite sometimes.

I know my time in the sun will come but I’m ready n o w.
It’s the first of the month so I know work is crazy busy.
I am tired of it all.

This is not a mopey blog, but I want to be real with you, reader. Sometimes life can be a bummer.

I have been constantly been on this language app called HelloTalk for my Korean learning.

It is amazing. If you want to meet people who speak the language you are learning. Download it and open your mind to internet pen pals.

You can meet people who live in the future. Yes, really because in Korea, it is already the next day.

Look it up. Facts.

I want to be fluent in Korean!
As well as Japanese and Spanish. I have a long way to go, but I am not giving up. I am closer than I was yesterday.

Have a good week. I will see you soon.




Using the N-word in Public

Here we go.

Good evening, guys. I have something to share.

The N-word. It hasn’t been okay to use this word in public for a long time and in 2019, I need to let you know that it’s still not all right to say.

I don’t like that people try to normalize this word when it is such racial slur.

You may say ,”Rachel you hear it all the time in music.” You are right, reader of this blog, you do hear it repeated a lot in music. I also understand that music artists have artistic license. But, where does it end and where does it begin? What should we allow and bar?

This goes back to the old question of what is reality and what is theatrics? What do you think is okay to act upon in society? What are the norms?

This is one of them. One thing that really annoyed me when I was younger, was the blatant disrespect of people in my hometown. People will use this word as slang and it was just super inappropriate! It made me furious. It was actually really really idiotic. I just want everyone to understand that your words are concrete and real.

I strongly believe that the sticks and stones saying is false. Words have a way deeper meaning than we ever can begin to see.

The people who lived through racism in early America. They may have gotten over it, but that doesn’t mean they don’t remember it. I think about them. I think about how they fought for people to live freely.

To live in a world where you get to write this word in a birthday card as a joke and all of your friends can laugh.

We have a very long way to go when it comes to equality, tolerance, and racism in America. It starts with me. It starts with you. I just want the next generation after me to carry on with what I left behind.

They call my generation ungrateful. A lot of people my age don’t get it. I am getting older but my generation is not getting wiser. It’s scary to think about sometimes because the world is still going around and around but our attitudes have not changed.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I think that this is where God comes in to play. With Him, everyone has a chance at peace, salvation, and a life that is richly blessed by His Spirit.

I always want to be grateful for what the Lord has done for me and how He has opened my eyes to things. I used to be a different creature. Through Him, I have been transformed.

But this is it not my final stop, don’t get me wrong. I still have a ways to go when it comes to my character building. There’s a lot of things that I want to do in the future.

There is so much to be taken from this world.

The world is bigger than your hometown.

Than your city.

Than your neighborhood.

I’ll see you soon.

PS: My first video is finally uploaded! Check it out! 🙂

What Happened To Us?

That title has nothing to do with what I am about to say.

So I made it to day number two! I was looking back on my past blog and I was so poetic. So much so, that I was deeply into my feelings. I haven’t written poetry in a very long time but I feel okay about that. I think that poetry can help or hurt you. Just like most things. I don’t feel the need to write like that anymore.

I’m not desperate for male attention or desire. I am alright with myself.

Today was an okay day.

I need to touch base on something. Having couth in public. This lady who asked me to volunteer for her organization approached me today. Was energetic about her vision. What I wasn’t on board with was her lack of respect for others.

Here’s the thing: if you act like you have no sense in public how in the world do you expect people to agree and follow what you say? You are a living, breathing billboard for your business.

Right now, I am not sold.

Last week, I was in a car a accident and I need minor repair on my car.

My manager will be able to look into it and I am thankful.

God always makes a way for me. Even when I think there isn’t a solution. He is there. Guiding me and helping me make the right decisions. Also, putting people in my life that are willing to help me. That touches my heart. I do not deserve what He gives me but here I am.

Taking it anyway.

I have the rest of the week to look forward to and I want to kickstart everything else.

I don’t do resolutions but I am challenging myself.

I want to be better. Just better in every way. Will I succeed? It’s all up to me which is scary because I am so used to the monotony.

It’s time to break it.

See you soon.

PS: I have my YouTube channel started!

C-c-check it out!